Parents of Jewish college students: Please turn your attention to this in-flight demonstration
Editor’s Note: The excerpts below are from an article originally printed in eJewish Philanthropy on August 26, 2024. To read the full op-ed, please click here.
“It all began at Gate A-18 at LaGuardia Airport. We were returning from a Hillel International meeting, engaged in a deep discussion about supporting Jewish students, a topic near and dear to us… We are both Hillel directors and parents: Joyce’s son is starting college this fall, while Betsy’s daughter graduated in May. Our experiences give us insight into the worries parents have about whether their children will connect and thrive as Jewish students in the coming year.
In these anxious times, more anxiety is the last thing anyone needs. As both parents and campus professionals, we know how easily worry can fester and grow, fueled by distant and uncontrollable events. We asked each other: What could we do to help alleviate these fears? How could we use our experience to support families during these challenging times? Hillel International, along with other Jewish organizations, has published recommendations for campus administrators and students for the upcoming academic year — what might we recommend to parents?
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Keep your seat belt fastened in the event of turbulence. The transition to college can be exciting but also challenging. College life, like a flight, has its ups and downs. Help your student set realistic expectations. They are resilient, adaptable and, when given the runway to do so, excellent problem-solvers. You will help your student get to their ‘destination’ (a successful college transition) by staying in your seat with your seatbelt securely fastened and trusting them to pilot their plane.
Put your oxygen mask on before assisting others. Events on campus can provoke strong reactions. Both parents and Hillel professionals seek to help students develop their capacity to adapt to and confront challenging situations. Parents, we advise you to put on your own metaphorical oxygen mask before reaching out to your student about an event or incident. A calm demeanor from parents helps students feel more secure in handling their own reactions and responses.
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Safety is our number one priority. Hillels prioritize student safety above all else. We work closely with university police, security experts and administrators, continuously updating our safety plans. While we understand parents’ desire to know these plans, sharing them could compromise safety. Rest assured, we are dedicated to keeping students safe.
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Together, we can help your students develop a strong sense of who they are as Jewish adults as they pilot their way through this next stretch of their journey.”
Betsy Polk is director of Jewish Life at Elon University and Joyce Gordon is director of Jewish Life at Duke University.